dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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