marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
