did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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