shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize