a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
