I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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