i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
