god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
