his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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