i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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