They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
