You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
