I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
