I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
