My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
