What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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