For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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