so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
