We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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