OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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