I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
