Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
