Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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