you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
