You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
