Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
