I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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