it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
