i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
