it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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