she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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