Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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