I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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