Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
