i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize