so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize