I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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