Im at strip club and am horny
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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