Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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