I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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