dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
