I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Enjoy the penises
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
