Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
