my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
