Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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