I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
