Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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