just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
