Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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