i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
