He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize