Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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