I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
worst night to have a conscience
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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