If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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