I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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