The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
