took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
