Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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